I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
