Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize