This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
