when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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