he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize