we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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