im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
