please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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