So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She's the barista slut.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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