Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
