Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize