I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
