I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
