happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Randomize
