I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
