I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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