omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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