wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
