if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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