which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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