Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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