I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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