She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
