So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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