just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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