Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
