A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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