He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize