Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
