batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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