can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I am midnight drunk by noon
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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