my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
