Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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