I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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