but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I understand Curling. That high.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
