I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
