He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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