I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
