I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Mom said you looked used
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
