you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I have post one night stand depression
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
