in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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