There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I need a beard to bite.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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