He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
