Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
