Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
