that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
