I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
