i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
