She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
