sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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