best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
