4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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