you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
