Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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