Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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