The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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