just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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