Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I have already put on my inside pants.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
