Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
