if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
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