this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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