i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He felt like a one man threesome
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
