Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
