i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
