If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
